Revelations

In the past 6 months, I’ve had two rather significant revelations which I’d like to share with you.

– The first is perhaps self-evident: I am a terrible blogger! As much as I love to write and to share what’s going on in mine and Matani’s lives, I simply do not choose to take the time out of my life to sit down and post to my blog. So for the few of you out there who love us enough and are interested enough in our lives to wish I would post more regularly, I extend my apologies. I do not, however, offer any promises that I will do any better. I’m just not sure I’m able to make that time commitment right now.

– The second revelation is a bit more significant: My family’s adoption journey is not finished. If you’re interested in reading more about this revelation, I invite you to visit a new blog I’ve set up to tell that story. It will probably not be much more active than this one, so don’t get your hopes too high, but I will continue to sporadically chronicle our family journey, and there is a brand new post up there right now which tells the beginning of this new story. The new blog is: http://www.africamommy.blogspot.com .

Again, thank you for the time you’ve taken to follow and invest in mine and Matani’s lives. I look forward to introducing to you the newest member of our family soon.

Blessings,

Rachel Anna & Matani Heller

 

Merry Christmas!

Mistletoe Red Christmas

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it’s about time!

i realized today that i’ve been rather shockingly neglectful of this blog and decided i’d let you all know what’s been going on in our (yes, it’s “our”!) lives for the last few months.

travel: after a whirlwind, but smooth trip to ethiopia to pick up matani, my mom and i arrived home with her on the 4th of july. it was without doubt the best “independence day” i’ve ever had. 🙂 we were all exhausted, but the trip home was uneventful, and mati was such a trooper! she slept, ate, and flirted with the surrounding passengers on the planes for the entire trip. none of the screaming, whining, or wriggling that i’d prepared myself for in bringing a baby on a 24 hour plane journey. whew!

bonding and attachment: after reading tons and tons of literature on adoption, i’d prepared myself for the bonding/attachment process to be a very slow, gradual thing, with occasional setbacks and challenges along the way. but it was so easy and quick! perhaps we’ll still encounter some ups and downs with this in future years, but at this point, she seems totally attached to me and appropriately apprehensive of strangers. and while it may seem cuter if she’s willing to smile and be held by everyone at church, it’s so much healthier that she clings to me when others try to hold her. hooray for healthy!

physical health and development: yep, she’s one healthy girl! poor tyke had a barrage of tests done shortly after we arrived home, but she smiled through it all and the results were 100% wonderful. she’s a healthy, developmentally appropriate 1 year old. since we arrived home she’s cut 4 teeth, started saying a few words (mama, nana, hi, bye, and uh oh), started walking, learned to dance (yes, she’s 1 and already has more rhythm than me…guess it’s in her blood!), and eaten a huge variety of new foods with nary a problem.

family: it’s official – she is adored by her family, grandparents, aunts, uncles, and cousins alike. and she’s pretty fond of all of them as well, especially since they all spoil her rotten! she especially loves nana, since she watches her all day while i’m at work, but she also laughs hysterically at uncle paul’s antics, and cried a few days ago when papa walked out of the room.

so far she loves church. i think it’s all because she loves music so much. she dances, claps, and sings (her own little baby version of the songs) all the way through the praise and worship time. it’s so much fun to watch! last week was her dedication at church. it was a very special time!

she turns 1 year old tomorrow (9/27), so we had a little family party to celebrate her birthday yesterday. what fun! we had bubbles, swimming, hot dogs, and of course cake and presents. we all had a great time, got some good pictures, and matani was blessed with some great gifts from our wonderful family.

so all in all, we’re both doing great. i love being a mother…in particular, being her mother. and so far, she seems to love being my daughter. we’re both so blessed to have each other. God has once again proven Himself to be a master artisan when it comes to designing the tapestry of our lives. He is truly a God worth serving. i can’t imagine my life without Him or the precious daughter He’s given me. 🙂

 

Let the Journey Begin

So I’m sitting here in the airport, next to my mom, waiting for the first of 4 planes which will carry us to my daughter. I love saying that: my daughter! It’s true, and yet still somehow so surreal. I really am a mother. Part of me continues to wonder if this is just a too-good-to-be-true dream, and if I’m going to wake up sometime soon. I know it’s not, but I think until I actually hold her in my arms, part of it will still seem unreal.

So in case all of this actually is reality and not a dreamworld, I’ve gone over and over the list of things to bring. Have I gotten it all? Did I remember everything? I hope so, because it’s too late now if I’ve forgotten anything. I really hope I’ve got all the critical stuff at least. It’s never mattered so much before! Usually I’m the only one affected by what I do or do not remember. Now this other tiny little person is also depending on me to get it right. No pressure!

My dad asked me this evening how I’m feeling. I hardly know how to answer that at the moment. There are so many thoughts and emotions rushing through my mind and heart! Excitement, certainly! Also nervousness, joy, and a variety of other feelings jumbled and tangled together like a ball of yard in the paws of a playful cat. Yes, that word picture was a little random, but I’m also very tired. I’ve totally been nesting for the last few days, and the urge to clean/pack/organize/whatever always seemed to hit around 11:00 at night and last until about 1:00am. Ugh! But the house looks good, including Mati’s bedroom and playroom. 🙂 And perhaps my exhaustion will help me sleep better on the planes. Hey, a girl can dream, right?

So for the next 2 days, my mom and I will travel through multiple airports and finally arrive in Addis Ababa, Ethiopia, on Tuesday night. Wednesday morning is what I’m living for: when I’ll finally go to the transition house and pick up Mati. Woohoo! Thursday we go to the US embassy, where I’ll answer a few questions in the process of getting her visa to enter the US. Her visa should be ready on Friday, and we’ll leave Saturday evening to fly back to America. We’ll get home in the afternoon on the 4th of July. What an Independence Day it will be this year!!

The Internet situation in Ethiopia seems a bit uncertain, so I’ll post and upload pictures if I’m able, but otherwise I’ll be in touch again next week. Please be praying for Mati, my mom, and me this week. Love you all!

 

A final need

The past couple days have been overwhelming and I’m not sure my feet have touched the ground yet, since the early morning call yesterday with the best news of my life so far: I’m a mom! Yes, I’m floating. 🙂

However, things are not finished yet, and I’m writing to ask for your help once again. God has provided so faithfully for everything that has been needed during this adoption, and I know He will finish what He has started. When I first received Mati’s referral 6 weeks ago, I sent in $4,500 for the Ethiopian government (through CCI), which covers the court costs and the other expenses they incur as they process and approve the adoption. This is half of their fee, and now that the adoption has passed court and is finalized in Ethiopia, I owe them the second half: another $4,500.

At the moment, I do not have this money. I have applied for 3 different grants and 2 loans through adoption financial assistance programs, but it may still be several weeks before I hear from them, and the money is due now. So many of you have already given so generously, and for this I cannot thank you enough. If any of you reading this have wanted to give, but have not yet had the chance, now is the perfect time! And for those of you who may not have considered giving before, but are considering it now, please pray and ask the Lord what He would have you do. If you do want to give, any amount, large or small, will help. You can click on “help bring mati home” at the top of this page and give through the Paypal links on that page, or you can email me directly at rachelaheller@yahoo.com if you’d prefer to give some other way. And for all of you who are invested in this process with me through your hearts and through prayer, but are unable to give financially, I ask only for your continued prayers.

Mati and I are both forever grateful to all of you for your continued prayer and support and I look forward to introducing her to you in person soon!

 

Let us rejoice

God is so good to me. So much better than I deserve…He really is!

I was planning on writing a post this morning to remind you all that my court date is on Monday, May 24th, and ask for your prayers. However, a phone call this morning changed all that. Turns out mine and Mati’s case was heard this morning in Ethiopian court, and we passed! That means that yes, she is now legally and finally my daughter! Would you like to see a picture?

I think that forever after this, Mother’s Day should fall on May 20! 🙂 Is that very narcissistic of me? Yes, it probably is. Haha! Oh what a good day! What a God day! Surely the psalmist was right when he said, “This is the day that the Lord has made; let us rejoice and be glad in it!” and “Give thanks to the Lord; for he is good; his love endures forever.” Psalm 118:24 & 29.

 

Court date set! Next item for prayer…

Well, one more prayer request has been answered. 🙂 On May 24th, an Ethiopian judge will be hearing mine and Mati’s case. A favorable decision will mean that she’s legally and officially my daughter! There are several things that need to fall into place by this date, so please be praying that everything goes smoothly. Pray in particular for the Ministry of Women’s Affairs (MOWA) to have their required letter to the court by that date. It seems a common thing that for one reason or another, their letter does not arrive in time, and the judge cannot finalize the adoption without it.

I’ll be leaving that same day to go to India for about 2 weeks, so I’m really hoping to hear good news that morning. God totally blessed me, and enabled me to get a round-trip ticket to India for FREE using frequent flier miles! I didn’t have enough (or miles with the right airlines) to be able to use them for my ticket to Ethiopia, so I decided it was God’s way of letting me go back and see all my friends/family Ladakh. I’m so excited to be going!

Also, I was so blessed this past weekend: thanks to my family, I now have a crib, bedding, and some darling clothes for Mati. 🙂 Layla (my 3 year old niece) has been very concerned about the lack of a crib in Mati’s room since she first saw her picture and realized that she was a baby. She knew that the twin bed I had was not going to work, and has been regularly asking her mom, “Has Auntie Rae gotten a crib for Mati yet? Mati needs a crib.” She also frequently tells me, “Auntie Rae, you need to bring Mati home soon!” She’s so right. At least the crib is no longer an issue, and she can rest her little mind about that. 🙂 I’ll put up some pictures of the developing nursery soon.

 

no news is…well, no news.

i decided that it was really time for me to post again, but there’s not a whole lot to report at the moment. all of the paperwork for Mati and me was submitted to Ethiopian court on april 16th, and now we just have to wait for them to set a court date and rule on our case. the average time from submittal to court date seems to be 4-6 weeks, so i’m praying for 4 or less. 🙂 after the case has been approved by the Ethiopian court, she’s legally my daughter, and all that remains is for the U.S. to grant her a visa. in order to do that, they have to perform their own investigation of the case, which usually takes about 6-8 weeks from the time the case passes court. so of course, i’m praying for 6!

oh! here’s some good news that some of you haven’t heard yet: i received new pictures of her yesterday!!! she’s still just the most beautiful thing i’ve ever seen (no, i’m not biased…she really is!), and……..she’s wearing the things i sent in that care package!!! she looks sooo darling! and one of the pictures even has the two of us together, since they’re holding up a picture of me that i sent in a little photo book i included in the package. it’s our first family portrait! 🙂 ok, so one of the reasons i really, really, really want to pass court soon is because then i’ll be able to post pictures of her here so you can see that i’m telling the truth: that she really is just breathtaking!

in the meantime, i have to send in another $9,000, which covers Ethiopia’s fee for the adoption. $4,500 of it has to be sent now (and thank to many of you, i already have that chunk), and the other half has to be sent in as soon as i pass court. in order to cover that amount, i’ve applied for a couple of grants, and am currently in the process of applying for 2 loans from adoption assistance programs. of course, this is one of those times when it’s easy for me to want to start freaking out and wondering where the rest of this money is going to come from (still need several thousand more for travel costs, etc.), but God has already miraculously provided more than $13,000 so it seems a little silly for me to start worrying now. 🙂 He has so obviously ordained this and has proven Himself to be Jehovah Jireh (the LORD, my provider), so i will choose to rest in Him and trust Him to provide the ransom needed to bring my daughter home.

hmm…writing that last sentence reminded me of the meaning of her name: Medahani – He who steals from death. what a mighty God I serve, who has ransomed my life from sin and the grave (stolen me from death), and now does the same with my daughter. selah! let it be so!

 

Presents for Mati

Yippee! Sue’s going back to Ethiopia next week, and said she’ll carry a care package to Mati if I want to send one! I need to get it in the mail tomorrow, so I didn’t have time to spend a lot of time on it, but I’m pretty happy with the stuff I found. Target’s great! 🙂 Oh, and thanks to Walmart’s 1 hr photo place, I was able to put together a little photo book that I can pick up tomorrow and add to the package before mailing it. All in all, it made for a delightfully fun evening. Here are a few pictures of what I got:

 

a full heart

“Sing, O barren woman, you who never bore a child;

Burst into song, shout for joy, you who were never in labor;

Because more are the children of teh desolate woman than of her who has a husband,” says the Lord.

“Enlarge the place of your tent, stretch your tent curtains wide, do not hold back;

Lengthen your cords, strengthen your stakes.

For you will spread out to the right and to the left;

Your descendants will dispossess nations and settle in their desolate cities.

Do not be afraid; you will not suffer shame.

Do not fear disgrace; you will not be humiliated.

You will forget the shame of your youth and remember no more the reproach of your widowhood.

For your Maker is your husband – the LORD Almighty is his name –

The Holy One of Israel is your Redeemer; he is called the God of all the earth!”

Isaiah 54: 1-5

Yes, my heart is indeed so very full this morning.